I’ve been avoiding this post for weeks. Something about writing this makes me feel like I can’t breathe, but that has been a pretty constant feeling this past year.
One Year. That’s how long I’ve been in DC.
I could start by saying that it hasn’t been easy. The first few months are still a haze of being stressed out, lonely, and really, really unprepared for the real world (thank you byu). After going to church for the first time and being so overwhelmed, I literally went straight to bed for the rest of the day. Some days one person can only take so much stress. But for the love of skype and a boy in Utah, I slowly picked myself up and started to make friends. On the days I [often] needed a break from the Mormon singles scene, Katie was always just a metro ride away.
I could talk about how spending Christmas in California almost made things worse. Seeing everyone that I had moved away from just reminded me how far away I really was. So I booked a ticket and flew to Utah in January. It was while I was visiting Provo that I really closed that chapter in my life. Flying back to DC, I knew I had to make the decision to like living on the east coast, my happiness really was up to me.
And so I decided to be happy.
Right around the time I made The Decision, I finally felt like I had made a network of [brunching] girlfriends, knew my way around without always using a gps, and honestly just calmed down and started breathing again. And breathing is always a good thing. It wasn’t an instant change, but slowly and steadily I realized I had built a life out here. A life that I happen to really love.
Looking back I think the thing I’m most proud of is the fact that I survived. Some days are still hard, and other days I still wonder why I choose to live 5,000 miles from the two most adorable nephews on the planet, but I guess when something is right, you stop asking those questions and just make the best of it. So as I look to the next year in DC, I know it’ll be better than the first, slightly less dramatic, and not so unpredictable. As Allie says, “2011 is our year!” We’ve been living up to that motto this year, and I intend to for year two of my DC experience as well.
So just breathe, it helps, I promise.